


Just Pretend

by Lady_Slytherin



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Curse, Bechdel Test Pass, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, Kissing, OUAT Femslash Exchange 2015, Some angst, non-explicit mentions of sex, side pairing: sleeping warrior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-17
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-04-26 20:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5018890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Slytherin/pseuds/Lady_Slytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ruby sees the craigslist ad requesting a fake girlfriend, it seems like the perfect way to make herself look like a Responsible Person Who Has it Together. But as time goes on, she starts to wonder who it is she’s really trying to fool. Red Beauty fake dating AU with background Sleeping Warrior. No curse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the100vaticancameos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the100vaticancameos/gifts).



> Written for the Fall 2015 OUAT femslash exchange.

When Ruby had invited Aurora out for birthday drinks, it had been primarily out of desperation for something to do. Aurora was nice enough, but younger than Ruby, more naïve and a hell of a lot less up for a party. But Ruby was bored, and of all of their coworkers she was the one closest in age to Aurora. It was only right that she take her out of her birthday.

At this point, however, Ruby was two drinks in and thinking maybe a night home with a book might have been less boring than this. She sipped her drink and scanned the room, cocktail sloshing as she set it back down on the table. “What about that guy?” she asked, nudging her head across the room. “I bet you could get him to buy you a drink.”

Aurora shook her head without even bothering to look at the man in question. “I’m not going to flirt with other men just because Philip isn’t here tonight.”

“Come on,” Ruby teased. “Live a little!”

Aurora pressed her lips together tightly. “It wouldn’t be right.”

Ruby knew she shouldn’t keep pushing, but her head was throbbing and she needed a distraction. “What’s not right is Philip working overtime on your birthday,” she argued. “Come on, you need to get _laid._ ”

“You’re only saying that because you want to live through me,” Aurora said lightly. She didn’t even seem annoyed, which was a miracle, really, since Ruby was annoying even herself at this point. “It won’t work.”

Ruby slumped down on her stool. “Like hell it won’t.” It had been a stupid idea anyway. Aurora had been dating Philip for almost five years now; she wasn’t going to stray just because he’d been notably absent lately. Ruby was just so desperate for something, _anything,_ to happen. It had been almost a month since she herself had gotten laid, partially due to a comment from her grandmother about how she couldn’t seem to keep guys around past breakfast. Besides, the pickings had been incredibly slim lately. Tonight’s crowd was evident of that.

“Anyway, I’m opening tomorrow,” Aurora said. “I don’t want to be late for my shift. Your grandmother’s a little bit scary.”

“Believe me, I know,” Ruby said. “She must like you, though. She doesn’t let just anyone open.” 

Having worked at her grandmother’s café since before she was old enough not to be in violation of child labor laws meant that Ruby knew Granny’s MO better than anyone. Aurora might be new to the barista game, but she was everything Granny expected out of an employee: reliable, cheerful, so kind that she wouldn’t even _think_ of saying something rude to a customer. All traits that Ruby herself was still struggling with.

“I hope so,” Aurora said. “I really enjoy working for her.” 

The last thing Ruby wanted to do was let the conversation move too quickly to work. That would drive home the point that really, they were just work friends. Even if it was true, she wanted to feel like for at least one night she could be out with a _friend_ friend. She cast around for a subject, and landed on a guy at a corner table across from a beautiful girl.

“What about him?” she asked, pointing. “I bet you could steal him away from that girl.”

It had been meant as a joke, but Ruby regretted it instantly when Aurora turned, looked at the guy, and went even paler than usual.

“What?” she asked. Aurora didn’t say anything, just continued staring and suddenly, it clicked. “Is that _Philip?_ ”

“It doesn’t matter,” Aurora said quietly, finally looking away from the couple and down at the table. She fiddled with the rim of her margarita glass.

“Like hell it doesn’t. Any idea who the girl is?” Ruby started to get to her feet. “Want me to bitch them out?”

Aurora shook her head, then put a hand on Ruby’s arm. “Please don’t go over there and yell at him, I don’t want you to make a scene.”

Ruby was speechless. “You don’t want—Aurora, don’t you care that he’s been _lying_ to you? Don’t you even want to know how long this has been going on?”

“I’ll talk to him about it later.”

“Well, I want to talk to him about it now.” Ruby said, because finally something was happening, and she couldn’t help but feel that it was her fault for wishing for it. She pushed out her stool and stalked over to the corner table. The girl was very pretty, with long black hair pulled away from her face with bobby pins. Ruby ignored her and poked Philip hard on the shoulder.

“You’re Philip, right?” she asked.

He looked up at her and frowned. “Yes. I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“No, but I work with Aurora. You know, your girlfriend of the last five years?”

Philip paled.

“Girlfriend?” the woman across from him demanded. “You-- you never said anything about that.” She turned to Ruby. “I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t know.”

Ruby turned back to Philip and crossed her arms. “So not only are you lying to Aurora, you’re lying to this other girl too?” She could almost feel sorry for her, too; the girl looked as shocked as Aurora had.

“My name is Mulan.”

“Didn’t ask,” Ruby said. Aurora appeared next to her, so quietly that she hadn’t even heard her approach. Ruby thought she was about to get told off for disregarding Aurora’s wishes, but instead Aurora turned to Philip.

“Overtime, huh?” she asked, before turning away. “Ruby, I think I’d like to go home now.”

“I’ll walk you to the bus,” Ruby replied immediately. She led Aurora to the door, shooting one last glare at Philip. When they got outside, she turned back to Aurora and said, “That son of a bitch. Are you okay?”

“I can’t believe Philip would do something like that,” Aurora said quietly, a few tears falling from her eyes. “I thought he was better than that.”

“I’m sorry,” Ruby said, uncomfortably aware that she had no context for what Aurora was going through. Five years was about four years and nine months longer than her longest relationship. To spend that long with another person, and then to be betrayed like that— 

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” she finally said.

They were a block away from the bus stop when the sound of footstep behind them had Ruby glancing around to make sure there wasn’t some creep following them. Instead, she saw the girl who had been with Philip walking towards them at a quick clip. “What do you want?” she demanded.

Mulan ignored her and walked the remaining few steps towards them. “Aurora, right?” she asked.

“Yes,” Aurora said, raising her chin and giving her most regal look. “What do you want?”

“I came to apologize.” Mulan looked down. “Whatever you might think of me, I swear I wouldn’t have been there if I’d known you existed.”

Aurora’s face softened. “Then I guess Philip’s actions hurt both of us.”

“Yes.” Mulan hesitated. “I understand if it would be too painful, but if not, I’d like it if we could talk more.”

“I have to work early tomorrow,” Aurora said, looking torn. After a moment, she added, “I can give you my phone number, if you’d like it.”

“That would be nice.”

Ruby watched as the girls exchanged numbers, shivering a bit in the cold and wondering what Granny would think to see her home so early. Maybe she could score a few points with her this way. She was going to be different now, just like she’d promised herself. She would prove to her grandmother that she could be responsible and prove to the world that she was more than just her looks and prove to herself that she could be whoever she wanted to.

If only she knew who she wanted to be.

*

Ruby and Aurora’s work schedules didn’t line up for the next few days, so when Thursday rolled around Ruby was dying to know if anything new had happened with the Philip situation. Unfortunately, the café was too busy that morning for conversation, and it wasn’t until eleven in the morning that things calmed down enough that they could take their breaks.

“Granny, we’re taking ten!” Ruby hollered into the back room. 

“Make sure you actually take ten, and don’t stay for fifteen like you did yesterday,” Granny warned. 

Ruby all but dragged Aurora over to a table on the side of the café. “So, what have you been up to?” she asked as they sat down. She barely resisted the urge to waggle her eyebrows suggestively, which she knew Aurora hated.

“You’re asking about Philip, aren’t you?” 

Ruby held up her hands. “Can’t blame a girl for being curious.” Besides, she had been the one to call Philip out on his shitty behavior, that should give her a free pass to be a little bit nosy.

“We haven’t spoken,” Aurora admitted. “He called once, but I deleted the voicemail. I don’t want to hear from him anymore.”

“Good for you,” Ruby said. She considered reaching over for a high-five but didn’t think Aurora would go for it. “Serves him right for picking up some bimbo on the night of your birthday.”

“She’s not a bimbo,” Aurora said, face turning red. “And he hadn’t just picked her up. They’d been dating for a while.”

“That’s even—wait a minute, how do you know that?” 

“Mulan invited me out to coffee the other day so we could talk, since we’re going through the same thing. She’s really nice.” Aurora played with the corner of her napkin as she said this, refusing to make eye contact.

Ruby’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

“Yes. Oh, by the way, she wanted me to pass something on to you,” Aurora said. “She thought you might be interested.”

“Give me a sec, I’m still stuck on the fact that you got coffee with the woman Philip was seeing behind your back,” Ruby said, shaking her head.

“She’s nice,” Aurora repeated. “We’re seeing each other again next week.”

“So what did she want you to pass on?” Ruby asked. What could a girl she’d barely met possibly have to say to her?

Aurora answered by sliding her phone across the table. “Look this over. One of her friends just posted this ad on Craigslist. I know you’re trying to prove that to your grandmother that you’re responsible and I thought maybe this would help.”

Ruby scrolled through the ad.

_Fake Date Needed—ASAP_

_In need of a fake date? Me too. Desperately. My father does not seem to understand that my life is my choice, and as a result is attempting to talk me into dating his boss. The man in question is much older than me, and the only reason I can think for my father to do this is that he’s angling for promotion. From the looks of things, he’s already suggested this to his boss, who is far too on board with the plan and now refuses to leave me alone. What I need is a person who can pretend that we are dating for long enough to help me gracefully extricate myself from this situation._

_About Me: My name is Belle. I am 24 years old and currently in school working on my Master’s degree in Library Science._

_What am requesting: We make several public appearances together and make it clear that I am taken so the man in question backs off._

_What I am offering: I’ll appear at up to five events of your choosing for whatever fake dating needs you might have. Examples include: Showing up as your date to a wedding (NOT your own), making small talk with your family at the holidays, and PDA for when you’re trying to get rid of people at bars who won’t stop hitting on you._

_Contact me if you are interested and are:_  
_-Between the age of 23-27_  
_-Willing to engage in mild to moderate PDA_  
_-A good liar (NON-NEGOTIABLE; I can’t have this falling apart on me)_

_Gender not important._

“Mulan says her full name is Isabelle Lacey French,” Aurora said as Ruby finished reading. “They met at college. Mulan was part of a club who went to parties to help girls get out of bad situations. From what I can tell, Mulan helped her through a bad acid trip. She’s wonderful that way. Mulan, I mean.”

“So she’s a party girl, huh?” Ruby asked, scrolling down to the picture Belle had included. She looked every bit the demure librarian, and honestly, that wasn’t the type Ruby usually went for, but Aurora was right that this might be the sort of girl she could bring home to Granny. 

“I’m not sure. I can ask Mulan, if you’d like.”

“You don’t have to. God, look at all these application questions she wrote,” Ruby said, scrolling down to a very long list of things she had to answer. “You’d think she was hiring a criminal mastermind, not looking for a fake date.”

“Maybe she’s doing both,” Aurora joked, reaching over so that Ruby could hand her back her phone. “Do you think you’ll apply?”

“Sure,” Ruby said, trying to keep her tone light. “Who doesn’t want to be hired as a fake date and possible mastermind?”

“I’m glad. I told Mulan a lot about you, you know. That’s why she suggested you look at the ad. She thought you and Belle would get along.”

Ruby thought this over. Would she get along with a librarian student who had on at least on occasion dropped acid? Maybe. If nothing else, it’d be interesting. She pictured herself, holding hands with the girl in the picture as they walked down the street, pictured taking her home to Granny. Ruby knew that she was supposed to be figuring her shit out for real, but she had no idea how to do that. Even if this was fake, wouldn’t this sort of relationship be a perfect place to start?

She filled out the application the minute she got home.

*

A few blocks from the bar, Ruby slowed down and tried to regulate her breathing. Running wasn’t usually a problem for her, but after several delays she’d chosen to run the twenty blocks from the house she shared with her grandmother rather than wait for the bus. She wouldn’t have been able to sit still anyway; she’s sent all day in an unprecedented state of agitation. Ruby had never had a problem with nerves when it came to real dating, but for some reason, meeting her fake date was bringing this out in her. 

When she arrived at the entrance of the bar, Aurora looked disappointed with her. “You promised you wouldn’t be late!” she said, in a tone that suggested she’d known this would happen.

Ruby didn’t look at the girl she knew must be Belle, then immediately felt silly for this avoidance. “Bus broke down,” she lied. In reality, she had had to try on six different outfits before finding one that seemed appropriate for meeting someone she was going to pretend to date, but there was no reason the others needed to know that. 

Mulan stepped forward. “I suppose I should introduce you,” she said. “This is Belle. Belle, this is Ruby.”

When she finally looked, Ruby’s first thought was that how beautiful Belle was. The second was that, like in her picture, she looked every bit the library student and not at all like a girl Mulan would have helped through an acid trip. Belle was well dressed in a blue button-down shirt and a skirt that flared out at the knees. Ruby’s hand trembled a bit as she reached out to shake her hand.

_It’s just a fake date,_ she reminded herself. Besides, seeing her confirmed what Ruby had already known: Granny would absolutely love this girl. 

“Hi,” she finally managed to say, clearing her throat. “I’m Ruby.”

Belle shook her hand firmly twice, then let go. “It’s nice to meet you, Ruby.”

Aware that her palms were beginning to sweat, Ruby wiped her hand against her tight jeans. “So, um, do you want to go in?” 

“Yes,” Belle said. “That sounds like a good idea.” She seemed a bit nervous as well, which helped somehow.

“We’ll leave you to it, then,” Mulan said. “Have a nice evening.”

Ruby whipped her head around to look at her. “I thought you two were coming in with us!” she said. _Shit._ Who would rescue her if they ran out of things to say?

“Mulan and I have plans to get dinner, actually,” Aurora said. “We’ll be nearby if you need us.”

“We thought the two of you could use some time alone to discuss the details of your arrangement,” Mulan said.

“Come on, Ruby,” Belle said, taking her arm gently. “I don’t bite, I promise.”

_I do,_ Ruby thought. Girls like this were the sort of girl she usually wouldn’t go near with a ten foot pole. The sort of girl who wanted relationships and quiet conversation and would probably be painfully gentle in bed, the kind of gentle that makes you think it’s okay to fall apart even though it never really is. Even though you’ll hurt them. “Okay,” she conceded, letting Belle lead her into the bar.

They found a table near the edge of the room and sat. Ruby couldn’t think of anything to say. It only took a few awkward moments of silence for her to leap back to her feet. “I’ll get drinks,” she said quickly. “What’ll you have?”

“Why don’t you surprise me?” Belle suggested with a soft smile.

Ruby wove her way through the crowd and eventually made it to the bar. Her first instinct with Belle was to get her something mundane and classy, like a martini, or whatever it was that old ladies on TV drank. But as she was about to order, she realized that that wouldn’t do at all. If Belle had requested a surprise, she needed to prove that she could stand up to the test. After some thought, she returned with a Whiskey Sour and a Black Russian, deciding to let Belle pick which she preferred.

Belle barely looked at the Whiskey Sour before taking it. “So, Ruby,” she said, taking a sip. “Tell me a bit about yourself.”

“Did you not get enough from my application?” Ruby asked, then cringed at how worried she sounded. She took a few deep breaths and forced herself to fake confidence, the way she always did when she felt insecure. “Sorry, you just caught me by surprise. I thought I’d already been selected.” 

Belle smiled. “Oh, you have. But we need to come up with a convincing story if we’re going to pretend we’re dating. When I talked to Mr. Gold, I may have made it that I was in a serious relationship.”

“Gold’s the old guy?”

“Yes.”

“So you need me to act— _serious_ about you.” Ruby decided at once that she could do that. She’d never been serious before, but Belle seemed like the sort of girl it would be easy to be serious about. If she did that sort of thing.

“If at all possible.”

“I can do that,” Ruby said. “In that case, we definitely need to know more about each other.” Mostly for something to do, she took a gulp of her Black Russian.

“We could start with the basics,” Belle suggested. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Red. Predictable, I know.”

Belle laughed, looking over Ruby’s red shirt and nail polish. “It suits you.”

“What’s yours?” Ruby caught herself starting to lean forward, the way she would if she were flirting, if this were something real. She pulled back at once, straightening her spine.

“Yellow. You know, we’re dangerously close to Gryffindor colors here,” Belle said.

Ruby laughed, then realized there might be more important questions at stake here. She didn’t know how much time they had, so she dove right in. “Have you ever dated a woman before? If I’m pretending to be the first, I’d like to know that.”

“I’m not sure “dated” is the word I’d use,” Belle said. “But if you’re asking whether I’m attracted to women, then yes.” She pulled the cherry out of her drink and popped it in her mouth.

“Drunken hookups?” Ruby asked, seeing the perfect in for finding out what sort of personality led to both tripping on acid and library school. So far, all she’d come up with was some sort of amnesia idea that was amusing, but too ridiculous to be true.

Belle set down the cherry stem carefully on her napkin. “How much did Mulan tell you about college?”

“Aurora mentioned something about you having a bad trip. Which, totally been there, by the way.”

“I’m mostly over that, now,” Belle said. “The partying, that is. I still like to go out and have fun sometimes, but not quite so intensely. And honestly, these days I’d rather spend a night in with a good book.”

Ruby wanted to ask more, but wasn’t sure she had the right to. Instead, she said, “This might be a stupid question, but does the guy you’re trying to get rid of _know_ you’re into women? Public displays of affection don’t mean as much if he think it’s just ‘gals being pals.’”

“Oh, he knows all right. I was hoping to get rid of him that way. I had _hoped_ he’d be type who’d be bothered by it.” A strand of hair fell in front of her face. Ruby watched her push it back behind her ear.

Snapping herself out of it, she said, “Well I’m guessing he wasn’t, or we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“He suggested a threesome.” 

Ruby made a face. “Ooh, one of those, huh?”

“So then I told him I was in a serious relationship, and he asked who with, and since I didn’t have anything to say I just made an excuse and left. I don’t think he bought it, so… hence the ad.” Belle gestured vaguely.

“Sounds like an asshole,” Ruby said.

“There’s some questions I’d like you to answer too,” Belle said. She leaned forward slightly. “What do you want get out of this? I know you didn’t just answer the ad out some need to protect my personal well-being. So, who do you need to convince?”

“I need to prove to my grandmother that I can be in an adult relationship.” No point in not being straightforward about it, even if it was embarrassing. She took another large sip of her drink, then looked down and realized her glass was half empty. She set it down heavily on the table.

“Oh?”

“She’s been on my case, lately,” Ruby admitted. She laughed, trying to turn it into a joke. “We live together, and she probably has the best hearing of anyone I ever met. Anyway, from what I could tell, she finally got tired of overhearing me—well, you know where I’m going with this.”

Belle laughed too. “And she thinks a steady relationship would make her hear _less_ of that?” 

“More like she thinks a steady relationship would finally push me to grow up and get it together.” Ruby suddenly felt the need to defend her grandmother. “She raised me after my parents died. I’ve lived with her most of my life, and she was fine with it up until now, but lately I’m getting the sense that she wants me to move on. I guess she thought I’d be out of there by twenty-five, and I’d like to be, but every time I think about it all I can think about is an apartment by myself and a job I tolerate and I just—it sounds really lonely, you know? Even lonelier than living with an old lady who goes on hunting trips every other weekend because she doesn’t want to let her rifle license go to waste.”

By the end of the sentence, Ruby’s heart was beating fast. She wasn’t used to saying things like this, revealing too much of how she was feeling. She hadn’t meant to say it now, except that Belle was there and listening and seemed to care, and it had been a long time since all three of those things were true.

Belle seemed to think about this. “So, what happens when we pretend to be in a steady relationship and it doesn’t produce the results she hopes for?”

“I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” Ruby said. “But it’s a start, right? I can prove I’m responsible, and she’ll treat me like I’m responsible and maybe that will be enough to make me actually _be_ responsible.”

“Sounds like a lot of work,” Belle said. “But what do I know? I’m a twenty-three year old grad student being courted by a sixty-five year old man and the only way I know how to get out of it is to pretend I have a girlfriend.”

“Well, now that we both know we’re shit at decisions.” Ruby began, desperate to change the subject. She downed the rest of her drink. “So, what’s our story? We’ve got to have something to say when people ask how we met.”

“Good idea,” Belle said. “So, where should we say? A bar?”

Ruby shook her head. “Not a bad idea, it’s just that I’ve spent years picking people up in bars. I want this to be different.” 

She wasn’t sure this made sense, but Belle seemed to get it. “All right. What would you suggest?”

“Shit, I don’t know. A bookstore?”

“I work in a library as part of my program,” Belle said. “I get all my books there. But we could say we met at the library?”

“That could work. Or wait, what about the café I work in? Granny runs it, but she’s not there all the time. You could have come in to order a coffee one day.”

“I’m more of an iced tea sort of girl,” Belle said. 

“Iced tea, then,” Ruby said, warming up to the idea. “And _I_ saw the beautiful girl sitting by herself and decided I had to know who she was.”

“You made a joke about cutting me off after my third tea,” Belle suggested. When Ruby gave her a surprised look, she explained “I drink too much of it when I’m nervous. Who knows, maybe I was nervous because I liked you.”

A warm feeling spread throughout Ruby’s chest. “And when I joked about you not being okay to go home on your own after that much tea, you asked if I’d escort you. Lucky for both of us, it was the end of my shift and I got to say yes.”

Belle gave her a soft smile. “Maybe I invited you in for another cup of tea, and we got to talking and you ended up staying all night.”

“That sounds good.” Ruby said. She scrunched up her nose, suddenly worried. “Is that too much of a meet-cute, though? It could raise some alarm bells if it sounds too much like a romantic comedy.”

Belle seemed to think about this. “I think it’ll be okay. It’s not like one of us dropped something and we both reached for it at the same time.”

“Okay,” Ruby said, reassured. “So how long ago was this?”

“Two months?” Belle suggested. “Long enough that we could be serious but short enough that it’s not a surprise people didn’t know about it?”

“Perfect.” 

Now that they’d resolved this, neither seemed to know what to say. Ruby was on the verge of making her excuses and leaving before the situation got to awkward, but was spared having to do so by Belle, who out of nowhere asked, “What’s your favorite book?” When Ruby gave her a look of surprise, she explained, “That’s the sort of thing I like to know about someone I’m dating.”

Ruby thought about it, but the only answer she could come up with was one she was sure Belle wouldn’t approve of. She scratched at her nail polish, but gently so it wouldn’t actually come off and have to be redone. “This is going to sound really stupid and probably much less sophisticated than you were hoping for, but I like reading comics.”

“That isn’t stupid at all. Which comics do you like?”

A knot in her stomach loosened. “The Hulk. I really like that his powers aren’t just this great thing he can use just because, you know? Characters like Captain America and Spidergirl are always in control, so their powers are like this great gift. But the Hulk isn’t special, he’s just a guy who has something terrible inside of him that he can’t control very well, and it can be used for good but he can also hurt people he doesn’t want to.”

Belle nodded. “I hadn’t thought about that before, but it’s kind of a classic Jekyll-Hyde story, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is,” Ruby said, with much more confidence than she felt. “So, what about you? What do you like to read?”

“I don’t think I could ever pick,” Belle said. “I like the classics, but I also like things that disturb me. I like to be forced outside my comfort zone a bit. At the end of the day though, I think what I like best is to curl up with a good adventure story. Robinson Crusoe, or The Three Musketeers, something like that.”

After that, conversation was easy. Once Ruby realized that Belle wasn’t going to judge her for the things she liked, she found she had a lot to say. Even when they disagreed, she never felt like Belle saw her as anything other than an intellectual equal. In fact, Ruby was so engrossed in getting to know Belle that she lost track of time. When she finally looked at her watch and saw that it was two in the morning, she leapt out of her chair. “Shit!” she said, almost knocking over an empty glass. “I have to go, I’m working tomorrow.”

Belle got to her feet as well. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Ruby,” she said, offering her hand. Ruby shook it, amazed at how warm and soft it was (although that may have been the four Black Russians speaking). “Is it all right if I text you later about the details? I need a bit more time to strategize the best time and place for us to run into Mr. Gold.”

“Sounds good,” Ruby said. 

“So…” Belle said, tugging gently on the end of Ruby’s scarf. “Walk a girl to the bus stop?”

“Absolutely,” Ruby said. She led the way out the door. It was cold outside, but she felt warm and comfortable from the alcohol, and less lonely than she had in months. Maybe there was a reason she’d found that ad. Maybe she and Belle had always been meant to be friends, and it was only now that they were finding this missing piece to their lives. 

Or maybe, Ruby reflected, she had just had one too many drinks.

*

It was a week later that Ruby saw Belle again, although throughout that time they texted back and forth almost every day. Now, they were standing on the sidewalk in front of a fancy hotel, neither willing to just open the door and go in. 

Ruby tugged at her dress, more self-conscious about her clothing than she had been in years. “Are you sure this is appropriate?” she asked for the third time.

Belle looked at her for a moment, then slipped an arm around her waist and gave her a comforting squeeze. “You look perfect.”

“I’ve never been to a cocktail party before,” Ruby admitted. Her dress felt cheap against her skin, if a dress _could_ feel cheap. Maybe it was the fabric, maybe it didn’t breathe well enough. Wasn’t that something people said about clothes, that they did or didn’t breathe well?

“Don’t worry, they’re boring. Everyone there’s going to be far too interested in furthering their careers to bother with us. Half the time I end up holed up in a corner reading a book. It drives my father crazy. He insists on showing me off, and he can’t do that if I’m not socializing.”

“How long has he been dragging you to these things?” Ruby watched as several people in formal clothing entered the hotel, as though it were the easiest thing in the world.

“Since my mother died. I was sixteen, and he needed to prove to investors that they could see him as a family man as well as a businessman. He thinks it makes him look more trustworthy. Maybe he’s right but I always wished he’d just let me stay home instead of dragging me around.”

“But you’re not sixteen anymore,” Ruby objected. “Why do you still let him drag you around?”

Belle’s face flashed with hurt for a moment. Her arm, which had been around Ruby’s waist up until that moment, pulled away. “Why do you still live with your grandmother?” she shot back.

Ruby was going to snap back at her, but then she remembered what they were doing there. “Touché,” she said instead, taking Belle’s hand firmly. “Look, I’m sorry I asked. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I guess there’s still a lot we don’t know about each other,” Belle said quietly, looking at the intimidating door. “Maybe this was a stupid idea.”

“Maybe it was,” Ruby replied. She realized with a flash that Belle was even more scared to go in than she was. “And maybe we’re going to go in there, and I’ll be dressed all wrong and everyone’s going to spend the whole time thinking about how you could do better. But that’s not the point, is it? The point is, you wanted me to come with you so you can get that Gold guy off your back. So, let’s go in there and get that done.”

Belle nodded, squaring her shoulders and facing the double doors. “You’re right.” 

She yanked open the door and led the way to the event room, which was bedecked with chandeliers and waiters carrying trays of the sort of snacks that were probably called hors d’oeuvres, and, to Ruby’s incredible relief, an open bar. She could already feel the crowds of people pressing in on her, people who beautiful clothing who reeked money and could probably explain exactly what it was that made her dress feel cheap.

“I would really like to have a drink in my hand right about now,” she told Belle, who laughed.

“I know how that feels. Come on, let’s get you something.” Belle took her hand and led the way to the bar, and this, at least, was familiar territory for Ruby.

Once they’d gotten drinks, Belle let go of her hand but continued to touch her throughout the evening. A hand on her back, fingers pushing aside her hair, gestures that could almost be considered possessive if they weren’t so sweet. Ruby wondered if this was what Belle was really like in a relationship, if she was one of those people who couldn’t get through a few minutes without touching the person. She could just be playing it up for the audience. Still, Ruby found herself leaning into her touch, and even giving some in return.

In fact, she was so preoccupied with tucking a strand of hair behind Belle’s ear that she didn’t even notice a man approaching them. For a moment, she thought this must be Mr. Gold, but then Belle smiled stiffly and said, “Hello, father.”

“Hello,” he said. “This must be the—girl you were talking about.”

“Ruby Lucas.” Ruby extended her hand and smiled brightly. 

“Pleased to meet you,” he said, shaking her hand for less than a second and sounding anything but pleased. “Belle, may I speak with you for a moment?”

Belle looked torn. Ruby reached out and squeezed her hand, trying to let her know that she’d support her in either decision. Belle squeezed back, then looked at her father with fire in her eyes. “No,” she said firmly. “If I speak with you alone, you’ll try to make my decisions for me. I’m here for a nice evening with my girlfriend, not to further any of your agendas.”

Ruby had to stifle a laugh at the shocked expression on Maurice’s face. He seemed to to notice anyway though, because he looked at her and stiffened.

“Well, I can see you’ve made your choice about what sort of person you spend your time with,” he said to Belle. “Far be it from me to tell insult your choices. Just don’t forget how badly things almost went for Lacey.”

“Who’s Lacey?” Ruby whispered as he walked away.

Belle looked tired. “Just a jab at something I tried out in college. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t let him get to me like this— ”

“It’s okay,” Ruby said, putting an arm around her. “Come on, let’s—I don’t know, sit down or something? Is that what people do at these things?”

“Well, neither of us needs to make business connections, much to the extreme disappointment of my father, so there’s no point circulating,” Belle said. “Let’s go sit at that table.”

“Why does your dad want you to make business connections?” Ruby asked as they sat down. “You’re a librarian, not a fortune 500 wannabe.”

“That’s another thing he wants to change about me,” Belle said. “He’s convinced this librarian thing is just a phase I’m going through, and that one day I’ll wake up and realize my undying love of business and join his company. I don’t have any siblings, so he’s convinced I’ll carry on the family name or something.”

“That’s awful,” Ruby said, suddenly glad that her grandmother had shown no interest in passing down her own business. Maybe having a relative who wanted her to move on and have her own life wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

Belle just nodded.

After a few moments without talking, Ruby couldn’t take it anymore. She leaned over and whispered in Belle’s ear. “So,” she said. “Any sign of the guy?”

“Not yet,” Belle whispered back. 

Belle’s breath was hot on her cheek, but when Ruby glanced over at her she saw that she still looked upset. “Hey,” she said softly, putting a hand on Belle’s thigh. “Are you going to be okay? We can leave and do this another time.”

Belle shook her head. “It might as well be now,” she said. “And I’m sorry. I don’t normally let him get to me like this.”

“I get it,” Ruby said. She was going to say more, but at that moment Belle put her hand in hers. At first, Ruby thought that she just wanted to hold hands, but after a moment she realized that Belle was trying to get her attention.

“Gold. Over there,” Belle said, nudging her head slightly. Ruby turned, trying not to look too obvious. 

“The guy with the cane?” 

“That’s the one.” Belle had turned away to sip her drink, acting as though she hadn’t noticed him.

“Well, I don’t know how to tell you this,” Ruby said, feeling her heart speed up. “But he’s coming over here right now.” She barely had time to think before Belle’s lips were on hers in a desperate gesture. Ruby put her hands on Belle’s arms, at first just to stop her from toppling over. The kiss was messy and unpracticed, noses bumping and lips open too far. Ruby didn’t even realize she’d forgotten to close her eyes until she saw Mr. Gold, staring at them. They really should have practiced beforehand.

_We can do better than this,_ she thought, gently twining her hands in Belle’s hair. After all, they were supposed to be putting on a show of being a serious couple. Ruby pulled back slightly to reposition herself, then closed her eyes and tugged Belle towards her until they were kissing again. This time, she made sure to move slowly, deliberately. Belle’s lips were soft under her own as she pressed gentle kisses to her lips, then cheeks, and finally to her neck.

Belle made a soft sound and buried her hands in Ruby’s hair as Ruby set to work placing a few gentle kisses on her neck. _This is just for show,_ Ruby reminded herself, moving back up to Belle’s lips to deliver a kiss that was much more heated than she’d intended. It was all too much. Belle’s hands were firm around her waist and all she could think about was getting up off her chair and pulling her even closer. _It’s not supposed to feel this good,_ Ruby reminded herself firmly. She pulled away abruptly, letting Belle’s lips fall to her cheek before she, too, pulled away.

“I think he’s gone,” Ruby said quietly, partly because it seemed like to thing to say and partly because it was true that Mr. Gold was no longer in sight. “We don’t have to pretend anymore.” The words felt heavy in her mouth.

Belle’s maintained eye contact for a moment too long before turning back to her drink. “Okay,” she said. “I guess we’ve made our point”. She finished the drink in one long gulp. “Do you want to go get something to eat? I’m starving.”

“I could cook for you if you want,” Ruby said. She was too broke to go out, but wasn’t about to admit this to Belle. “If you don’t mind me using your kitchen. We can’t go to my house because Granny will be home.” She didn’t want to have to play for an audience again, not while her lips still tingled from the kiss they had just shared.

“That sounds lovely,” Belle said. “My apartment’s walking distance, but we can take the subway if you’d rather.”

“Walking sounds good,” Ruby said. They held hands as they left the hotel, only letting go a few blocks later when Ruby remembered they didn’t need to anymore.

At Belle’s apartment, Ruby rummaged through the fridge and came up with everything she needed to make a simple veggie stir-fry. Belle helped out by finding things and handing them to her. As they cooked and ate, they talked, steering far clear of anything that might be upsetting. Neither seemed willing to discuss the events of the evening.

“Do you think Mulan and Aurora are dating?” Ruby asked as she spooned a large serving of stir-fry onto a plate. She handed it to Belle and grabbed another for herself.

Belle sat down at her small wooden table. “I’d been wondering about that myself. I’ve known that Mulan was bi for years, but I wasn’t sure about Aurora.”

“I’m not either,” Ruby admitted, sitting down across from her. “She’s never talked about girls like _that_ , but she and Philip were dating for like, five years. Who knows who she’d be talking about if they’d broken up sooner.”

“It’d be good if she and Mulan _were_ dating,” Belle said. “It would help Mulan, anyway. Philip was the first person she was ever serious about. When she found out that he’d been lying to her, I was worried she’d never date again. She’s not the most trusting person to begin with.”

“So,” Ruby said, leaning forward. “Think there’s any way we can find out if they _are_ dating? You read a lot, you should be able to come up with some sort of Nancy Drew solution.”

“Short of asking them, you mean?” Belle said. She leaned in too, maybe subconsciously, and all at once Ruby realized they were sitting closer together than they had since the cocktail party. 

“You mean the obvious solution?” Ruby asked, pulling back just enough that she couldn’t do something stupid like try to kiss Belle again.

Belle shrugged. “Even if I ask, Mulan may not tell me,” she said. “Not if she’s unsure of Aurora’s feelings. She doesn’t like to give too much away.”

“I’ll try Aurora,” Ruby said. “She can’t hide anything to save her life.”

When they finished eating, Ruby helped Belle wash up. She was surprised that Belle didn’t have a dishwasher when her dad was so clearly loaded, but on the other hand, maybe she didn’t like to rely on his. Their relationship hadn’t seemed particularly affectionate.

After washing up, they ended up in the living room. Ruby stood awkwardly near the front door, unsure of what was supposed to happen now. “I should probably go home soon,” she said. She made no move to do so, however, and a moment later she repeated. “I should probably go.”

“You could spend the night, if you want,” Belle said, looking down in what appeared to be a nervous gesture. “I don’t have class until noon tomorrow. We could do more planning about our ‘relationship.’”

“Or we could just hang out,” Ruby said. “I mean, there’s no rule saying that our relationship has to be purely business, right? We can be fake girlfriends _and_ friends.”

Belle’s face lit up. “I’d like that,” she said. “I don’t have a lot of friends.”

“Me neither,” Ruby admitted, sitting down on the couch. It wasn’t until she’d decided to stop having one night stands that she’d realized that without that part of her life, she really didn’t have a lot going on. Aurora had saved her by seeming so lost and in need of guidance, but that didn’t particularly fill the hole in her life either. “So, what do people do when they spend the night over at someone’s place as friends?”

“We can sleep on the living room floor,” Belle suggested. She laughed. “Like we’re little kids at a sleepover. We can stay up late watching romantic comedies and braiding each other’s hair.”

“Sounds good to me,” Ruby said, also laughing. She preferred a good action movie, generally speaking, but she’d happily watch a hundred rom-coms if it meant she could spend the night here with Belle.

“Want anything to drink?” Belle asked, heading into her tiny kitchen. “I think I have some bourbon in the pantry.”

Ruby raised an eyebrow. _“Really?”_

“You sound so surprised.”

“I mean, yeah. No offense, but you definitely struck me as a red wine sort of girl.” Ruby spoke loudly so that Belle could hear her in the kitchen.

Belle’s came back holding a half-empty bottle in one hand. “White wine, actually. But wine’s the sort of drink you have with company. When you’ve been up late working on a paper three nights in a row and it’s finally done but you have another due tomorrow—” She help up the whiskey.

After a few minutes of careful consideration, Belle put on When Harry Met Sally. Ruby made sure to pace herself with the alcohol. She’d already had one drink tonight, and the last thing she wanted was to get wasted and ruin everything. 

Two hours later when the movie ended, they were sprawled out on Belle’s living room floor, content with silence. Every once in a while one of them would take a sip of bourbon directly out of the bottle. Ruby wasn’t drunk per se, but she was in the phase of tipsy where all of her limbs felt light and her tongue loose. 

Maybe it was this, or maybe it was that this was feeling more and more like the high school slumber parties she’d rarely gotten to have, but all of a sudden, she found herself saying to Belle, “You know, you’re not exactly what I expected. From what I’d heard about you, I mean. I got the impression that you were a bit of a party girl, rebelling against your rich dad—but you’re not, are you? But you’re not some stodgy librarian either.”

“I don’t know exactly what Mulan said, but I think I’ve got some idea as to what it was,” Belle said hesitantly. “Maybe I should explain.”

“It was in college, right? From what I understood, you had kind of the wild child thing going then. Which, totally hot, by the way.” Ruby rolled over onto her stomach and pulled a pillow towards her to lay on.

“I was going by Lacey then.” Belle’s voice drifted gently over Ruby as she spoke. “I was trying to—distance myself, from my father and the role he wanted for me in life, and I thought that was the only way to do it. The thing was, I didn’t have my own direction. Everything I did was in reaction to my father.”

“That was what your dad was talking about earlier, huh?”

“Yes.”

“So what happened?” Ruby hugged the pillow even tighter and watched Belle, who had pulled herself upright and was leaning back against the couch, as though having something safe behind her would protect her from the past.

“Things—escalated, to a point where I was close to failing out of school. I was smart enough, it just all seemed so pointless, you know? I was majoring in English because I loved to read, but everything we did in class just brought me a little closer to hating it. There was the day when I found out that Wordsworth had stolen a lot of his writing from his sister’s journals and I remember just laying down on my bed and crying. It seemed like the more I learned about literature the more I hated all the writers I had loved before. I didn’t want to keep having things ruined for me, so I just—decided to focus on other things.”

“Like seeing how many tequila shots you can handle before you black out,” Ruby said, thinking back to a particularly memorable night of her own.

“Exactly.”

“The whole loosing direction thing? I’ve been there too,” Ruby said, trying to make it sound as though she were talking about years ago and not weeks ago. She reached for the bottle and took another swig.

Belle continued her story as though she hadn’t been interrupted. “I was on verge of just dropping out when I stumbled onto one of those little libraries that people set up in front of their houses, you know the people put up in little wood boxes?” 

Ruby nodded to show that she know what Belle was talking about.

“So I was just standing there, feeling like everything was falling apart around me and there was this stupid book, one that I wouldn’t have cared about normally, but it caught my attention so I took it. And the whole time I was going home, I kept thinking about libraries, and how they’re one of the few things in this world that truly good.”

“And you read the book, and it changed your life,” Ruby said, suddenly disappointed in Belle for having such a cliché story. Maybe some people really did go through life that way, but that didn’t help much when Ruby wasn’t one of those people, did it? She was never going to be the sort of person who could just stumble across a book and have her whole life change that way. Fate was not that kind.

Belle laughed. “Hand me that,” she said, gesturing the bottle that Ruby was still gripping loosely in her hand. “And no. It was one of the most boring things I’ve read in my life. But it got me thinking that somewhere out there, someone might have really loved it. And even if they didn’t, the fact that I had this opportunity to take a book, and maybe I’d love it and maybe I wouldn’t, but at least I was given the chance—it just made me think about how lucky I am, to live in a world with libraries. And then I knew that I wanted to be a part of that, and yeah, maybe I’m still pissed that Wordsworth stole his sister’s work, but at least I knew what I needed to do moving forward.”

Inexplicably, Ruby felt like she might cry. If they’d met just a few years ago, they could have been so similar, maybe even helped each other through things. Instead, the one part of Belle’s live that resembled hers was one she had cast off like an old skin. “Do you ever miss being Lacey?” she asked, scared of what answer she might get.

Belle seemed to give this some thought. “I don’t miss the hangovers, or waking up in someone’s bed and realizing I have to to do the awkward morning-after routine. I do miss the freedom sometimes. I thought I wasn’t trying to be who people wanted me to, so I was allowed to do things I wouldn’t do now. But looking back, I think I really was trying to please people’s expectations after all. It’s a double-edged sword, isn’t it? I can be responsible and work hard and try to please my father, or I can be irresponsible and not care and try to please gross frat boys who want an easy lay.”

“Do you think there can be an in-between?” Ruby asked, as much for herself as for Belle. “Is there a world where the only person you have to please is you?” _Is there a world where I can prove to Granny I’m responsible and find something I love to do and get my shit together without feeling as though I can’t breathe?_

“I didn’t used to think so,” Belle said.

“And now?” Ruby asked. She held her breath as she waited for an answer.

“I’ll let you know when I decide,” Belle said. She slid over to where Ruby was laying and laid down next to her. After a moment, she ran her fingers gently through Ruby’s hair and said, “I’ll tell you one thing, though.”

“What?” Ruby asked, leaning into her touch.

“I haven’t given up on Lacey.”

Later, when they fell asleep on the floor, Belle’s fingers were still twined in Ruby’s hair.


	2. Chapter 2

“You’ve been humming all morning,” Aurora pointed out when she and Ruby took their break. “Does that mean your night out with Belle went well?”

“Do you think there’s such thing as platonic soulmates?” Ruby asked, leaning forward and feeling as though she were revealing a secret. “Like, someone who gets you and is like another part of you, but just as friends?”

Aurora tilted her head. “Do you think that you and Belle are platonic soulmates?”

“Maybe.” Ruby shrugged and tried to act as though she hadn’t been thinking about this since she’d left Belle’s apartment that morning. “I mean, I don’t have _feelings_ for her or anything. I just feel like she’s the first person to ever really get me, you know?”

“I believe in that, if that’s what you mean by soulmate,” Aurora said, looking at Ruby with something that looked dangerously close to pity. “I think you can have more than one person that does that, though, and I don’t know if you can have more than one soulmate.”

“Forget it,” Ruby said. The thermos she’d borrowed from Belle and filled with coffee that morning was almost empty, but she chugged the rest of it anyway. She could always refill it when Granny wasn’t looking. “It was just a thought. So, am I going to have to torture it out of you, or are you going to tell me what’s going on with you and Mulan?”

Her question had the intended effect; Aurora went pink and looked down, seeming to forget that they’d just been having an entirely different conversation. “What do you want to know?” she asked delicately.

Ruby leaned forward on her elbows. “Are you dating?” she asked, allowing herself a small eyebrow wiggle.

“Yes,” Aurora said. “I suppose we are.”

“So you dumped Philip and got together with the girl he was cheating on you with? Way to go!” Ruby held up her hand for a high five. Aurora didn’t give it to her.

“We’re taking things slowly,” she said. “Neither of us wants to get into anything too quick.”

“But you like her, right?” Ruby asked.

“Yeah,” Aurora said. She smiled, and her whole face changed, looking softer and happier than it had in months. “I do.”

For some reason, seeing Aurora light up like this made Ruby’s mood sink like a brick. Her night with Belle and the idea of platonic soulmates paled when she thought of how easily Aurora had moved from one serious relationship to another, as if connecting to people emotionally really was that easy after all. “We should get back to work,” she said, standing abruptly. “Granny hates it when our breaks go too long.”

The day seemed to drag on, and by the time Ruby went home she was exhausted. She’d hoped that her grandmother would be out so that she wouldn’t have to talk to anyone, but as luck would have it she was sitting in the living room in her rocking chair.

“Hi, Granny!” she said, closing the door.

“So who’d you fall into bed with last night?” Granny asked without preamble. She did not look up from her book.

Ruby stiffened and crossed her arms, stopping midway through the room. “As a matter of fact, I was staying with my girlfriend.” _There. Let’s see what she thinks of that,_ she thought with a flash of satisfaction.

Granny turned the page in her book. “Girlfriend, huh? That’s new.”

Ruby’s stomach tightened. So what if it wasn’t true? What right did her grandmother have to make that sort of assumption about her. “We’ve been dating for over two months, actually,” she snapped. 

“That’s funny, because I seem to remember a man staying the night in your room six weeks ago. What was it, Brandon, Randall, something like that?”

“Brady,” Ruby said, flushing. “One month, then. We’ve been dating one month.”

“All right,” Granny said, putting up her hands in a motion of surrender. Ruby noticed with satisfaction that she’d finally closed her book. “So, what’s her name?”

“Belle.” For a crazy moment, Ruby was tempted to throw herself down on the couch and spill everything, how soft Belle’s lips were and how long they’d stayed up talking. How Belle had seemed to flinch when her father spoke and how Ruby had wanted to comfort her but wasn’t sure she was allowed to. But there was a spring in the couch that always poked through when she sat down, and if she started talking about Belle she’d end up admitting that they weren’t really dating at all.

Granny raised an eyebrow. “Never heard you mention a Belle before.” 

“I didn’t want to tell you until I knew it was serious.” Ruby dug her toe into the corner of the rug, wishing for the floor to swallow up either Granny or her so this conversation would be over.

“Oh, so it’s serious now?”

Ruby saw a flicker of hope in her grandmother’s eyes, and it was enough to send her over the edge. “Yes!” she snapped, forcing back tears as she thought about how much better this scenario would be if she really _was_ in a serious relationship, if she could really live up to Granny’s hope. “As a matter of fact, it is. I was planning to have her over for dinner to meet you sometime this week, but if you’re going to act like this I don’t think I will.”

“Slow down, girl,” Granny said. “You just took me by surprise.”

“Oh, so it’s surprising that I could find someone I actually want to be serious about?”

“Based on your track record, yes.”

Ruby slumped into a chair. “Well, I _did_ find her, and she’s incredible. She’s working to become a librarian. And she’s _not_ boring, unlike some other people I could name.” 

Granny ignored the pointed comment. “So you want me to meet the girl?”

“Yeah,” Ruby said. She wrapped her arms around herself as she realized that she _did_ want this, and not just for show. She wanted her grandmother to know she could find someone stable and good who would stick around for her, but she also wanted her to meet Belle just because she was Belle. Ruby tried not to think about this, instead pulling her legs up onto the chair so they were curled under her like she was a cat.

“Bring her over Thursday,” Granny said. “I’ll make lasagna.” It sounded like an apology.

“Okay,” Ruby said, heart fluttering as this sunk in. “Thursday it is, then.”

*

Ruby heard from Belle again just two days later, when she got a text asking if she could show up for a last minute visit to the office Belle’s dad worked in. Since the only thing Ruby had scheduled for the day was a Pretty Little Liars marathon, she jumped on the offer.

Forty minutes later she was standing outside the building with Belle, staring up at the high windows as though she could actually see through them at this angle. Belle was gripping her hand a little too tightly, but Ruby didn’t want to say anything when it was clear that what they were about to do was causing her a lot of distress.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Ruby said, trying to offer her a way out. “Doesn’t it seem a little, I don’t know, pointed?”

“I don’t know how else to make him to get the message,” Belle said. Ruby couldn’t tell if she meant Mr. Gold or her father. “If he only sees us together the one time he won’t believe it.”

“Okay, but showing up at his work? Doesn’t that seem a little—I don’t know, heavy handed?” It looked as though someone was moving in one of the windows, but of course, it was impossible to tell.

Belle bit her lip. “Maybe. But I told my dad I’d stop by so it’s too late to back out now. Besides, if you _were_ my girlfriend I’d definitely bring you along for moral support when I came here”

“It’s that bad?” Ruby asked apprehensively. The building didn’t look too bad, or at least, it didn’t look any different than any of the other buildings in this part of downtown.

“I love my dad, but he’s—I’m not sure he’s a nice person,” Belle said, running her free hand through her hair. “And a company like this—it’s so big and cold, you know? If I were to run a company I’d want it to be small, someplace that can embrace you and hold you in like you’re family.”

“You’d love my Granny’s café,” Ruby said. “Oh, speaking of which, I told her I wanted to have you over for dinner. She said you should come over Thursday. If you’re free, that is. I know I should have texted sooner, but I—” _Chickened out_ was the best way to put it, but that wasn’t how she wanted Belle to see her. Luckily, Belle smiled.

“I’m free. Well, if we’re going to have dinner with your grandmother in two days I guess that means we have have leave this patch of sidewalk eventually,” Belle said. “Come on.” 

She pulled open the door and led the way through the lobby and into an elevator. Several other people entered at the same time they did, and on the way up Ruby felt her body being pushed against Belle’s. When they reached the seventh floor and were able to exit the crowded elevator, Ruby sighed, not entirely out of relief.

The encounter with Belle’s father was uneventful, if a little unpleasant. He showed no interest in getting to know Ruby, but instead spent the entire conversation shooting glares at her and hinting that what he wanted most for Belle was for her to join his company, meet a nice man, and settle down. After only a few minutes of this, Belle made her goodbyes and practically dragged Ruby from the room. The minute they were out of his office, the plastered-on smile slid off her face.

“Now that that’s out of the way we can go find Gold without it being obvious that’s why we’re here,” Belle said. 

“Hey,” Ruby said, brushing her hair out of her face. “Everything okay?”

Belle nodded hurriedly. “I’m fine, it’s just—”

“Don’t,” Ruby said. “You don’t have to pretend you’re okay if you’re not.” They were standing so close together up against the wall in the hallway, and for one crazy moment Ruby was sure Belle was going to close the distance and kiss her, but then—

“Well, isn’t this _adorable,_ ” said a voice from behind them.

Ruby whirled around, realizing after she did so that this put her between Belle and Gold, as though she were trying to protect her. Which wasn’t what she was going for _at all,_ unless that was what Belle wanted, but otherwise that made her look like a massive jerk. A moment later, Belle stepped to her side and took her hand, and Ruby felt like she could breathe again, like she knew her role in this situation.

Mr. Gold directed his words at Belle. “So, _Dearie,_ ” he said, seeming to loom over them despite the fact that Ruby had a few inches on him. “I see it’s bring your bitch to work day.”

Ruby clenched her fist, inadvertently crushing Belle’s hand. 

“I don’t work here,” Belle said coldly.

“Not yet, but I’d warrant that one of these days you’ll be giving in to dear old dad and finding your place in these hallowed halls. Remind me, how much are librarians making these days?”

“Money isn’t everything,” Belle said. “And I certainly wouldn’t trade it in for my morals.”

Mr. Gold seemed to come even closer then, so that he was almost nose to nose with Belle. “ _Pity,_ ” he said, pronouncing the “t” crisply. He pulled back and gave them a malevolent smile. “Have a nice day Belle. Miss Lucas.”

He walked away, cane thumping on the floor with every step. Ruby shuddered.

“I can see why you didn’t want to date him,” she said. “How could your dad—”

“Ruby?” Belle said gently. “My hand?”

Ruby looked down and realized how tightly she was still squeezing Belle’s fingers. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“Don’t be. I remember my first run-in with him.” Belle paused, as though she were recalling the encounter, then said stiffly, “I was twelve.”

“And your dad doesn’t think that’s at all weird? Trying to set you up with a man who was an adult when you were twelve?” Her grandmother might be a bit hard on her sometimes, but at least she’d never tried to pull something like _that_.

Belle shook her head. “He’s—out of control, really. He has been for a long time. I think he used to be different, before my mother died, but now— I’ve thought about cutting him out of my life entirely, but he’s my _father_.”

“That sounds hard,” Ruby said, unsure of what else she could say. She herself had never had parents, how was she supposed to understand what that would be like, to have to stand up to them in that kind of situation? All she had was Granny, and she’d spent the past few days lying to her in the hopes of gaining her respect. What advice could she possibly give?

“We can go now,” Belle said in an emotionless tone. “We’ve made our point.”

*

They didn’t speak again until Thursday. Belle hadn’t bothered to call or text and Ruby, thinking this probably had to do with what had happened Tuesday, let her have her space. She considered asking if they needed to practice to be sure they fooled her grandmother but frankly, they hadn’t seemed to have any trouble with it so far. On Wednesday night she broke down and texted Belle to be sure she was still coming. The only reply had been an “of course” that to Ruby sounded nothing short of terse.

When the doorbell rang right on time, Ruby wondered if she’d just been protecting her anxieties onto Belle. She seemed fine when Ruby open the door, completely composed in a flared knee-length skirt and a button-down shirt.

“Hi,” Belle said. Her throat bobbed as though she were clearing it. “You look nice tonight.”

Ruby didn’t want to admit that the classy dress she’d borrowed from Aurora made her feel every bit as uncomfortable as she had in the cocktail dress. “Thanks,” she said. “Um, do you want to come in? Granny made lasagna, I hope that’s all right.”

“Lasagna sounds perfect,” Belle said.

Granny was busy in the kitchen, so it was left to Ruby to entertain Belle in the interim. She brought her a glass of wine (white, she’d remembered the conversation the other night) and tried to sound responsible, chatting about work and Belle’s Master’s degree program. It was stiff and awkward, and Ruby had made the mistake of sitting next to Belle on the couch so that she had to turn her head at an awkward angle to look at her. 

She was in the middle of telling a story about someone who had come into the café and tried to order a size of coffee that they didn’t sell. It had seemed funny when she started telling it, but now that she was halfway through Ruby realized it was going to be a bust. It was so hard to think of entertaining things to say when she was so focused on sipping her drink properly and keeping her legs together. She was spared having to finish the story by Granny’s shout of “Dinner’s ready!” from the kitchen.

“We should go in,” she said to Belle.

“Are you ready?” Belle asked quietly, giving her hand a squeeze. “You seem tense tonight.” 

“Can’t be any worse than your dad’s office, right?” Ruby said, getting to her feet as gracefully as she could. She led the way to the kitchen, where Granny had already placed a large serving of lasagna on each of the plates and was sitting at the end of the table, staring at them over her glasses.

“Why don’t you two sit down?” she said. “You must be Belle.”

“Yes,” Belle said politely, lowering herself into a chair.

Ruby sat down across from Belle, suddenly wishing she’d taken the time to prepare her for Granny. It wasn’t the same as Mr. Gold or Belle’s dad; she wasn’t cruel, but she _was_ pushy, and had an uncanny sense for when something was up.

At this very moment, she was staring at Belle as though trying to see through her skin. “So, Belle,” she asked, cutting into her lasagna. “Tell me a bit about yourself.”

Belle launched in with an explanation of her Master’s program. Ruby relaxed in her seat as she saw Granny look at her with something akin to approval. She should have known Belle could handle this, just like she handled everything else. 

When Belle had finished speaking, Granny said, “So, what’s a nice girl like you doing with my Ruby?”

It was said like a joke, but Ruby still felt something inside of herself drop like lead. “Hey,” she snapped. “I’m sitting right here.” She stabbed at her lasagna with her knife, scrapping it against her plate in the way she knew her grandmother hated. 

Granny raised an eyebrow. “Someone’s touchy tonight,” she said. “Anyway, how’d you two meet?”

“At your café,” Belle said quickly. Her foot tapped against Ruby’s in a comforting gesture, although it could have been an accident. Still, Ruby found her spirits rising a bit as she remembered she had an ally. 

She set down her fork and was about to jump in with the story they’d created when Granny spoke up instead. “What’d you have? The Caprese Salad is new and I’m still not sure I like having it on the menu. Aurora twisted my arm on that one.”

“I had the iced tea,” Belle replied. “It was very good.”

“She drank three glasses,” Ruby interjected quickly, feeling as though she had to contribute something.

Granny’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline. “Would you mind talking to me in the living room for a moment?” she asked Ruby.

“I can leave if you need to speak alone,” Belle said quickly. Ruby shot her a glare, for once annoyed at her overwillingness to please.

“No, you stay and finish your lasagna,” Granny said firmly. “Ruby?”

“All right!” Ruby snapped, throwing her napkin unceremoniously on the table as she stood. Her chair made a horrible scrapping noise against the wood floor when she pushed it out, and she knew this was the opposite of what she should be doing if she wanted the evening to go well, but she was too far gone to care. Somehow, Granny had figured out that they were lying, and it had taken her less than twenty minutes. It wasn’t fair.

Granny shut the door between the kitchen and living room almost delicately before turning to Ruby with an unreadable look on her face. “You feel like telling me what’s going on here?” she asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ruby said, crossing her arms against her chest.

“Ruby,” Granny said in a tone nothing short of exasperated, “The next time you want to lie to me, could you do me the favor of getting your facts straight first? I’m trying to be nice here, but this is a little bit insulting.”

“What makes you think we’re lying?” Ruby was mortified to realize that she was starting to tear up. She wiped at her eyes angrily, smearing her eyeliner in the process.

“Tea’s been off the menu for months. Leroy won’t give us any, we’ve been at a standstill ever since I told him his homebrew is terrible. So, you want to tell me the truth this time?”

“Fine!” Ruby snapped. She was suddenly furious, furious at Granny for figuring things out and at Leroy for changing the menu and herself for being so terrible at lying. “Belle and I aren’t really dating! I met her on Craiglist. There, is that what you wanted to hear? You wanted to know how pathetic your granddaughter is, that she can’t even get a real date?”

“Ruby…”

“No! Don’t _Ruby_ me! Just once, I wanted to bring home someone you’d like. Someone you could respect me for, is that too much to ask? For you to like someone that I like?” Ruby kicked Granny’s rocking chair, breaking one of the legs. She dropped to the ground, tears finally flowing for real. “Couldn’t you have just let us lie? Couldn’t you have pretended for _one freaking night_ that you believed someone like her could fall for someone like me?”

“Oh, Ruby,” Granny said, lowering herself so that she was sitting on the floor too. She put an arm around her, and for a moment Ruby let herself lean into it. Then, all at once, she stiffened and pulled away as a horrible though occurred to her.

“You’re right,” Ruby said, getting shakily to her feet. “You’re right about all of it. I’m not good enough for someone like her, I—” She couldn’t even finish the sentence. All she could see was the rocking chair, the way she had broken something that meant so much to a person that loved her. “Please don’t follow me,” she said, all but running towards her room. She almost tripped on her way in, because _of course_ she hadn’t cleaned it in weeks, and there was a pile of clothes in front of the door.

Feeling even angrier with herself than before, Ruby yanked the clothes and threw them into the nearest container, which happened to be a duffel bag. Before she knew it, she was throwing everything in sight into the bag, as though she were going somewhere, and maybe she was. Maybe she’d leave and start over somewhere where nobody knew what a mess she was. 

There was a knock on the door and Ruby spun around to see Belle enter the room.

“I’m sorry,” Ruby said, closing her eyes for a moment against the tears that were on the verge of returning. She’d forgotten that Belle was still there, and for some reason, of all of the horrible parts of the evening this was the worst. 

Belle shut the door gently behind herself. “I think I’m the one that should be sorry. You’ve done such a good job of pretending to be my girlfriend, and I couldn’t even fool your grandmother for half an hour.”

“I should have known about the iced tea,” Ruby said, sniffling a bit. “She’s right, I don’t pay enough attention.”

“Are you—packing?” Belle asked, looking at at the hall-full duffel on the bed.

Ruby turned her head looked at it too. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t know how any of this happened.

Belle put her hand on Ruby’s cheek gently, turning her head so that it faced her. “You know, If you need somewhere to go tonight, you can always stay over at mine.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t know,” Ruby said. Now that she was holding still, she felt like she was about to crawl out of her skin. “Could we go somewhere? I just—I need to get out, I need to _be somewhere_ , somewhere I don’t have to think.”

Belle put her hands on Ruby’s shoulder to steady her. After a moment’s hesitation, she said, “How would you feel about a night out with Lacey?” she asked. 

“I thought you’d moved on from that,” Ruby said. Her fingers were tapping against her dress, which was suddenly way too tight. “Are you sure you want to go back?” _Are you sure you want to be like me again?_

“Just because I don’t want to carry around that persona all the time doesn’t mean I can’t take her out to play once in a while,” Belle said, with a smile that made Ruby feel calmer somehow. “What do you say? We can call it girl’s night.”

“I could use a night out,” Ruby admitted, forcing herself to take some deep breaths and stop her tapping fingers. “Aurora’s nice and all, but she’s—”

Belle released Ruby’s shoulders and made her way over to the closet. “Boring? Stable? Doesn’t have enough emotional baggage to understand the joy of letting loose? By the way, can I borrow something to wear? This skirt won’t work for clubbing.”

“All of the above. And yeah, you can take anything that fits.” Ruby began to dig through the clothing she’d just crammed into the bag. Something in there had to be clean enough to wear.

“You know, she and Mulan really are perfect for each other,” Belle said, flipping through dresses. “I bet they already know each other’s drink orders. They both seem like the type to order the same thing every time. I couldn’t do that. I need someone adventurous, someone who’ll surprise me, you know?”

“It’s a good thing you’re not dating me for real, then,” Ruby said. The words felt like rocks in her mouth. “I’m the most straightforward person you’ll ever meet.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Belle said. “I think you’ve still got some surprises in store for me.” She spun around, holding up a dark purple dress that looked as though it would barely hit her mid-thigh. “What do you think?”

“It’s perfect,” Ruby said. “But then, I’m pretty sure you’d be a knockout in anything.”

Belle wouldn’t tell her where they were going, so Ruby put on a pair of black leather pants and a red shirt that she tied off at the bottom. By the time they got on the subway, Ruby had recognized where they were headed. She didn’t say anything, deciding to let Belle believe she’d managed to surprise her. 

Sure enough, the club was one Ruby had been to before. In fact, she had vague memories of being on her knees in front of a guy in the single-stall bathroom at this very club, but she shoved them aside. She had nothing to feel ashamed of, but that wasn’t who she wanted to be right now. 

_Not that I have any idea who I_ do _want to be,_ Ruby thought. But when she looked at Belle out of the corner of her eye, she realized that this was not strictly true. Maybe she didn’t know exactly who she wanted to be, but she knew it had something to do with the dangerous game they’d been playing, something to do with the way that her hand and Belle’s had been laced together since for who knew how long. She hadn’t even realized when it happened.

Ruby thought about taking a step back into the realm of platonic, but it was too late. They weren’t supposed to be pretending tonight, but she had grown so used to touching Belle that it would be wrong, somehow, to let go of her hand. Wrong not to brush her hair out of her face, or drink out of her glass even though she had her own drink right in front of her.

“So,” Belle said after they’d both done several shots. She quirked an eyebrow, which shouldn’t have looked good on her but so totally did. “You planning on asking me to dance, or am I going to have to do it myself?”

She was so— _Belle,_ but there was something different about her in this setting, some sort of confidence that she was never lacking but didn’t usually project this way. Ruby had categorized Belle’s past as a party girl as being somehow completely separate from her present as a library student, but at this moment Ruby suddenly realized how wrong she’d been. Of course she would seem like Belle in any situation.

“Yeah,” she said, downing another shot to stop herself from staring. “Let’s dance.”

Belle’s hand was in hers, leading her towards the center of the crowd. In all Ruby’s years of dancing at clubs, it had never felt like this. When Belle’s arms went around her neck she felt dizzy, a bit like being drunk but more like being a little kid who didn’t know when to stop spinning until it was too late. Her hands were on the small of Belle’s back, then just below her back, and then somehow they were outside, Ruby shoving Belle up against the brick wall under the light of a single street lamp, lips on her lips, her neck.

Something in the back of Ruby’s mind told her that this was not what she was supposed to be doing, that this was a house of cards and she was about to make it all collapse. But then Belle’s hands were yanking her hair, her mouth releasing a soft moan as Ruby bit down gently on her neck, and God, of all the encounters in back alleys at clubs, this was the only one that had ever had Ruby feeling more than just lust.

_This is going to destroy me,_ Ruby thought distantly, but she didn’t care, would let herself be destroyed if it meant that she could have this moment, and suddenly, she understood the story Icarus, how flying this close to sun might be worth the fall that came at the end, and then Belle’s hands were sliding down her sides, and she was doing something with her tongue that Ruby couldn’t even have begun to describe, and all of a sudden Belle pulled away.

Neither said anything, but Ruby watched Belle turn away, illuminated by the solitary streetlight well enough that Ruby could just barely make out the thick eyeliner smeared beneath her eyes before she turned and walked away.

*

They met the next day for coffee, both studiously avoiding any mention of what had happened the night before. Ruby focused all of her attention on her coffee, unwilling to be the one to bring up the kiss. If only Belle would so something that indicated that she didn’t think of it as a mistake.

But she didn’t, and maybe that was a good thing, because Belle was a _librarian_ , someone who was sweet and kind to her father even when he didn’t deserve it, and Ruby was just this colossal fuck-up who kissed her friends when she wasn’t supposed to and couldn’t even tell a convincing enough lie to fool her own grandmother.

She finished her coffee and finally let herself look at Belle, who was shredding a napkin into equal-sized strips. She hadn’t even touched her iced tea.

“So what’s up?” Ruby asked finally, when it became clear that Belle wasn’t going to initiate the conversation.

“I, um,” Belle said, setting down the shreds of napkin and looking up. “I got a call from my father this morning.”

Ruby winced out of sympathy. “What did he say?” Her heart starting to speed up, but she could pretend it was the caffeine and not her fear that something bad had happened.

“He told me that he’d ‘indulged my behavior long enough,’ and that if I really cared about our family I’d either join the company or date Mr. Gold.”

“I hope you told him to fuck off,” Ruby said, before realizing that _of course she hadn’t,_ because Belle actually respected her family. 

“I told him I needed time to think.” Belle looked down at the mess she had made with the napkin. It seemed as though she might cry.

“And what are you thinking?” Ruby pressed. For a moment, she considered backing off, but that wasn’t what Belle needed from her right now. Instead, she took one of Belle’s hands in hers and stroked it gently with her thumb. _What are you doing?_ part of her brain demanded. _Don’t you remember that none of this is real?_ She ignored it and asked, “Do you want to work for his company?”

Belle looked frantic. “I’m not sure! I don’t want to disappoint him, but—”

“Belle,” Ruby interrupted. “Did you know you’ve never even told me what the company does? I mean, I know they’re making big bucks at other people’s expense, but that’s all you’ve bothered to say about it.”

Belle looked confused. “Do you _want_ to know what they do?” she asked. 

“Of course not! What I’m _trying_ to do is make a point. If you had _any_ interest at all in working for them, don’t you think you’d have bothered to tell me what the company is? But you haven’t. You can’t shut up about the library thing, which makes sense because everything I know about you says you’re crazy about books.” _Even if you’re not crazy about me, even if it was all pretend._ Ruby swallowed hard, and pulled her hand away. She wrapped her hands firmly around the empty mug to keep them firmly attached to something other than Belle.

“You’re right,” Belle said quietly. “I don’t want to work for him.”

“Obviously,” Ruby snorted. “Look, this is probably none of my business but you need to talk to him. And soon. I know he’s your dad and everything, but you can’t let him walk all over you like that. It isn’t right. If he loves you, he shouldn’t be hurting you like this.” Ruby wondered what right she had to consider herself an expert on love, then thought back to all of the times she’d refused to commit in hopes of something better. Maybe trial and error had its benefits after all, because even if she didn’t know what love was, she knew a hell of a lot of things it wasn’t.

Belle appeared to be having a great internal struggle. “You’re right,” she said. “I can’t let this go on, can I?”

“Do you—do you want me to go with you?” Maybe this didn’t have to be the end of everything, Ruby thought desperately. Maybe they could still be friends. It’d be a start anyway, even if she was beginning to suspect that friendship wouldn’t be enough for her. Even through this turmoil, she couldn’t help but smile at Belle’s victory.

Belle smiled too. “Thank you. But I think this is the sort of thing I have to do on my own.”

“Don’t worry, I get it,” Ruby reassured her. And she did, she really did, and everything was almost okay, except that the next thing Belle said sent her shattering into a million pieces.

“Hey, at least you won’t have to pretend to be my girlfriend anymore.”

For a fraction of a second, Ruby felt as though she couldn’t breathe. She inhaled shakily, then forced the smile back onto her face. “You know I didn’t mind,” she couldn’t help but say.

“I know,” Belle agreed. “But it’s time for me to actually stand up to him.”

She stood, then did the worst possible thing and _shook Ruby’s hand._ As though this had been nothing but a business transaction, as though they hadn’t talked and shared secrets and _kissed_ outside a club not twenty four hours before.

_It wasn’t her,_ Ruby realized, heart sinking as she felt Belle’s hand in hers for what might very well be the last time. _Lacey’s just a costume she likes to wear sometimes. It was never her that kissed me._

“Good luck,” she said, swallowing over what felt like a knife lodged in her throat. “I hope it all works out for you.”

Ruby felt proud of how well she’d held herself together during the conversation, but over the course of the next few days as she continued not to hear from Belle, Ruby’s mood became more and more foul.

“If you want to ask about Belle, just do it,” Aurora said after the third customer Ruby had snapped at left in a huff. 

“I don’t care what Belle does,” Ruby said. “I’m just sick of people who don’t know how to explain a freaking _coffee order._ ”

“You know,” Aurora said mildly. “You’re a terrible liar.”

“I know,” Ruby said, because after all, what did she have left? “How’s Mulan?” she asked, giving in slightly because it was a wonder Aurora was even bothering to speak to her after how bad her mood had been the last few days.

Aurora lit up. “She’s good! You know, when I first saw her with Philip, I thought it was the worst thing that had happened to me.”

“I’m guessing you don’t think so anymore.” Ruby’s tone was bitter, but hey, at least she was trying, right?

“Not at all. I hadn’t realized it, but things with Philip had begun to fizzle out even before I knew he was cheating on me. And being with someone new is so exciting! I forgot how amazing it is to learn all of those things about another person like that.”

Ruby nodded, thinking of the night spent on Belle’s living room floor, secrets that spilled in the aftermath of bourbon.

“I really like her,” Aurora said. Her smile was larger than Ruby had ever seen it. “If I had stayed with Philip, I know would have played it safe and done the expected thing all my life. We’d probably have gotten married within the next year if this hadn’t happened. Mulan challenges me. She surprises me.” 

Ruby though back to what Belle had said just a few nights ago, about wanting to be with someone who would surprise her.

“Is being surprised better than being safe?” she asked, suddenly desperate to know the answer. Ruby knew it would sound strange to Aurora, that she, Miss One-Night-Stand, all of a sudden cared about safety. But one night stands _were_ safe. Ruby understood sex. Waking up day after day with the same person, having to find out what would happen after breakfast the next day? That was the real risk. Letting someone know all of your secrets and trusting they’d still love you.

_Belle would understand why I’m asking,_ Ruby thought desperately. _Belle would know why it matters._

“I think so,” Aurora said, after a few moments of reflection. “Not that it’s better to not be safe, but maybe that not everything should be all about safety. Love should make us fight for what matters. It should make us the best version of ourselves. Don’t you think so?”

Ruby fought back the panic that was clawing at her. “I wouldn’t know,” she said with a forced laugh. “I’ve never been the best version of anything.”

*

When she got home, Granny was sitting on the couch waiting knitting with a passion akin to fury. She looked up when Ruby came in. “We need to have a little talk about your idea of customer service.”

“Bite me,” Ruby said, continuing to walk past her. She wasn’t in the mood for this conversation. Who the hell cared about customer service, anyway? 

“Don’t you walk away from me,” Granny said. “We need to talk about what exactly you plan to do about Belle, before you manage to drive all of my customers away.”

Ruby ignored this, entering the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of water. Granny followed her into the room and stood in the doorway. 

“What _about_ Belle?” she snapped when it became clear that her grandmother wasn’t going to leave her alone. 

“You’re in love with her,” Granny said. It wasn’t a question.

Ruby felt as though she had been knocked over. She slammed her glass down on the counter, not quite hard enough to break it. “What do you care?” she asked bitterly.

“Ruby…”

“If this is going to be some lecture about how I need to get it together, save it,” Ruby said. 

“Actually, I was going to apologize for how hard on you I’ve been.” 

Nothing could have been more surprising. “I’m the one who broke your rocking chair,” Ruby said quietly. “What are you apologizing to _me_ for?” _I’m the one who keeps destroying everything I touch._ Ruby sat down at the kitchen table and closed her eyes, realizing they might be in for a longer conversation. When she opened them again, Granny was still looking at her.

“Well I won’t say I’m not pissed about what you did to my chair, but I thought about some of the things you said. I just want you to know that you were wrong about part of it.” Granny paused for a moment before saying fiercely, “I _always_ thought you were good enough for a girl like Belle. That was why I was so hard on you when you only brought home people who would hurt you.”

“You could have just said something,” Ruby said.

Granny sat down next to her. “I know. Forgive me?”

“Do you forgive me for having lots of loud, fantastic sex in the room next door to yours when you’re too old to get any?” Ruby shot back.

To her surprise, her grandmother laughed. “As a matter of fact, I do.”

Ruby laughed too, suddenly picturing her grandmother sitting up in bed with old lady earplugs (whatever those were) trying not to hear what was going on in the room next door. Maybe she _had _had the right to make a comment or too, when that was what she had been putting up with.__

__“Look, you’re clearly out of your depths with the whole romance thing,” Granny said. “And maybe that’s my fault for never bothering to model it for you, and maybe it’s your mother’s for leaving you before she could. Either way, you clearly don’t have a clue what to do with Belle right now. I’ll help, if you tell me what’s going on.”_ _

__Asking for her grandmother’s help was just about the last thing Ruby wanted to do, but she didn’t really have anywhere else to turn. “She doesn’t need me to pretend anymore,” Ruby admitted, looking down at her hands. She hadn’t done her nails in days and the paint was beginning to chip. “I told her she should tell her dad the truth and she did, so now she doesn’t need me as an excuse not to date the guy he was trying to force on her.” To her surprise, it felt good to say it out loud._ _

__“So what if she doesn’t need to pretend anymore?” Granny asked._ _

__“What?” Ruby demanded. “Didn’t you hear me? She has no reason to date me anymore.”_ _

__“No, she has no reason to _pretend_ to date you anymore. For Christ’s sake, Ruby, just ask the girl out. If she says no, are you really any worse off than you are now?”_ _

__“You don’t understand,” Ruby said bitterly._ _

__“I understand that you’re letting your ego get in the way,” Granny retorted. “Same thing I did when I was your age, as a matter of fact. Ever wonder why your grandfather isn’t in the picture?”_ _

__Ruby was caught off guard. “No, I didn’t,” she admitted. It had always just been her and Granny, and she’d accepted that. She’d known about her father’s death, and her mother leaving, of course, but it had never occurred to her that there was anyone else. But of course, there would have had to be a grandfather, or at least a sperm donor of some kind. Ruby felt stupid for never having given it a second thought. “So what happened?” she asked finally._ _

__Granny shrugged. “Got knocked up, much to the horror of my parents. It was the 1950s, mind you, so people were shocked. I was in love with the guy, but he was seeing someone else by the time I figured out what was going on. I didn’t even bother to fight for him. I didn’t even tell him I was pregnant”_ _

__“Really?” Ruby asked. She couldn’t believe there had ever been a time when her grandmother didn’t fight for something. She always seemed so in control, so unmovable, something Ruby had envied on more than one occasion. Not bothering to even tell the guy sounded like something _she_ would pull, not Granny._ _

__“He married her. I came dangerously close to regretting it for the rest of my life, but then I thought, why bother? I promised myself I’d never be that stupid again, and I moved on. That was fine with me, I could live with it. But you shouldn’t make that sort of mistake.”_ _

__“So you think I should talk to Belle?” Ruby asked. This conversation was getting hard to follow._ _

__“I think you should do whatever the hell it takes to make you happy,” Granny said. “You only get so many shots in this life. Don’t blow this one.”_ _

__It was almost embarrassing, being given such a simple solution to what had felt like a complicated problem, but at least now she had a course of action. Ruby smiled and threw her arms around her grandmother, almost knocking them both off their chairs. “Thanks, Granny,” she said. “You’re right.”_ _

__“Damn right I am. No go after her, while you still have the chance.”_ _

__“Now?”_ _

__“Yes.” Granny winked at Ruby over her glasses. “And when you get back, I expect your help fixing my chair. It’s about time you learned to clean up your own messes.” But her tone when she said it was kind, and when she was done speaking, she returned to the living room._ _

__Ruby left the house at a run._ _

__It wasn’t until she was at the door to Belle’s apartment that Ruby stopped to catch her breath. For some reason, she had thought it’d be a good idea to _run_ the whole way there, instead of catching the subway like a logical person. She wasn’t even able to pass it off as a grand romantic gesture either, because when she pressed the button to be buzzed up to Belle’s apartment, there was no response. _ _

__Frustrated, Ruby pressed the intercom a few more times, before being forced to concede that Belle probably wasn’t even home. She turned, ready to wait on the steps until she arrived because she knew if she went home now she’d lose her nerve._ _

__But she didn’t have to; the moment she turned she heard Belle’s voice calling her name in a tone of surprise. “What are you doing here?” Belle asked, walking quickly towards her. She didn’t seem angry, which Ruby took as a good sign._ _

__“I ran all the way here,” she said, then winced at how _stupid_ that sounded. Belle didn’t reply, just looked at her. “I should have called,” she added, jamming her hands awkwardly into her pockets. “I just—can we talk?”_ _

__“Sure,” Belle said, rummaging in her bag for her key. “Why don’t you come inside for a cup of tea?”_ _

__“No,” Ruby said, so firmly she surprised herself. “Sorry, it’s just that this isn’t a cup of tea sort of conversation.”_ _

__“Oh.” Belle said. She ceased the search for her key and looked at Ruby. “Well?” she asked, biting her lip endearingly._ _

__“Will you go out with me?” Ruby asked, words tripping over each other. She laughed a bit. “For real, this time? It’s just that I’m kind of crazy about you, and I haven’t stopped thinking about that kiss and I _know_ we’re avoiding talking about it, but really that’s stupid because I really enjoyed it, and Granny said this whole thing about how we can’t let things slip away because we’re too scared and I just really, really want to kiss you again.”_ _

__Belle was quiet so long that Ruby realized she must have gotten things terribly wrong. “I’m sorry,” she said, turning to leave. “I’ll just go, I—”_ _

__“Wait,” Belle said, grabbing her by the wrist. Ruby looked at her, but was surprised by what came out of her mouth. “I talked to my father the other day. I told him I was done playing his game, and that he could call me when he was ready to be a father and not just some man who wants to push his agenda by any means necessary.”_ _

__“Look, I get it, you don’t need me anymore,” Ruby said. “You don’t have to—”_ _

__“That’s not what I’m trying to say!”_ _

__“Then what are you trying to say?”_ _

__“That I couldn’t have done it without your support. That it just _kills_ me to know that the only reason you’re interested in me is to prove a point to your grandmother because you don’t think you’re good enough. Why do you think I left when you kissed me? Look, I know you’re trying to be someone else right now, and I get it. I’ve gone through that too, but I can’t be collateral damage towards you _finding_ yourself—”_ _

__Now it was Ruby’s turn to interrupt. “I’m not trying to prove anything to Granny anymore.”_ _

__Belle was very quiet, and Ruby realized she’d have to say more than that._ _

__“I don’t know if I ever was,” she admitted. “I mean, yeah she made some comments about my sex life, but it’s not the first time. And I think that the only reason it got to me was because—because I knew I needed to grow up and move on. Only I didn’t know how to do that, how to be that person, and then I met you— dammit, you make it look so easy, Belle! And you’re pretty, and you’re smart, and I feel like you _get_ me, more than anyone else ever has, and when I look at you I want all the things I forgot about wanting, like finding out who I really am and not just who people expect me to be—” Ruby stopped, partly because she knew at this point she was officially rambling and partly because Belle was staring at her lips._ _

__“I’m going to kiss you now,” Belle said decisively. “And after that, we’re going to go inside and have a nice cup of tea.”_ _

__She did, and they did._ _


End file.
